Because we’re unable to understand & comprehend it. As simple as that sounds, it isn’t something we’re equipped to deal with, not in this modern way of life anyway. Despite trying so hard, we fail at love every single time. Why have GEN Y become so inept at making relationships last? Is it because we’re all still carrying around emotional baggage from a previous relationship, is it because we’re not prepared for it? or is it because we’re not looking for love? I can’t decide. I am going to put it down to all three (for the purposes of keeping this short & somewhat sweet).
We’re not looking for love. We’re looking for instant-f*cking-gratification in EVERYTHING we do. Whether it be the careers we’ve chosen, the things we post online (entered said blog), the people we fall in love with – if it ain’t f*cking thrilling – we don’t want it. We’re all looking for excitement – we want someone to give us this constantly on a silver platter as opposed to wanting to find someone that understands us in our darkest, not so thrilling of times. We simply do not want that boring life – we just want someone who can make us feel alive for right now, this very instant. Once the excitement fades away we discover that no one has ever really prepared us for the boring mundane ‘relationship’. We’re too blind by the thrill of adventure we forget how to be truly in love. We immerse ourselves in the hustle, the glorification of busy – leaving no space or time for love. We’re busy f*cking people, doing busy people things. We’re chasing materialistic dreams and that’s about f*cking it. Relationships these days are purely based on convenience and opportunity, that’s it. We want the maturity in a relationship that ONLY comes with time, the emotional connection that develops over years & the sense of ‘belonging’ when we barely know the person. We’re not looking for love, because simply put - is not worth our time.
We’re not prepared. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work – the sacrifices, the compromises, the unconditional love – we aren’t prepared. We want everything really f*cking easy & simple. We opt out the moment a relationship requires effort. All it takes is a single hurdle and we crumble due to the inability to see anything through. Our generation has NO concept of letting love grow. We’d rather have options – we’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them at soul value. This generation are so focused on ‘attraction’ – hence successful apps such as Tinder. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and then step out the moment we see someone better – it’s a f*cking merry-go-round. On that – technology is 100% to blame for this generations disconnect with love. Technology has brought us closer, SO F*CKING CLOSE that it’s almost impossible to breathe. Human contact has been replaced by texts, snapchats, Instagram photos that we no longer feel the need to spend time together in person. We have too much of each other already – there is nothing left to bond over, like f*cking nothing (that you couldn’t already find out on the internet).
We worship sex. We separate sex from love. We have sex first, and then decide if we want to love someone. Sex comes easy, loyalty and emotion does not. We do it because we want to feel good, not because we love the other person. It’s all about the temporary fulfilment and instant gratification (noted above) that we think we need. Sex outside of a relationship isn’t taboo anymore – it’s as f*cking normal as seeing the sunrise. Friends with benefits, one-night-stands, no strings attached – by doing this we’ve left very little to be exclusive to love. Besides, we wouldn’t dare commit to someone because – options!
We are commitment phobic. Careers, relationships, loans – whatever it is, we’re scared of it. We are the generation of travellers who fear staying in one place for too long. We don’t want to settle down, we don’t want long-term careers, we don’t want mortgages that will tie us to a particular city, or country – even the thought of it is f*cking petrifying. We cannot fathom being with ONE person for the rest of our lives (like, am I only going to sleep with this person for the rest of my f*cking days?!) so we walk away. Actually, we skip away real fast because we despise permanence like it’ll turn us into boring-scone-eating-librarians. We’re too sensible for love as we’re the generation who runs on logic alone. We don’t know how to love madly anymore because we’re scared of normality.
There is seriously NOTHING this generation couldn’t conquer in this world and yet, we are f*cked in this game of love – the most basic of human instincts. Because we are scared. Scared to commit, scared to fall in love, scared to get hurt, scared to have our hearts broken again. We do not allow anyone in, nor do we want to love anyone unconditionally. We refuse to feel vulnerable, we refuse to bare our soul to anyone, we look for love but are found running the moment we really find it because we simply “can’t handle it”.
We live in a world where people are afraid to feel anything & that just makes me want to punch myself in the f*cking throat. So here’s an idea – let’s all stop being little heartless fucks & be empathetic to the fact that everyone is human and capable of love (deep deep deep f*cking down). ANY person you become romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point – these are both terrifying concepts.
Enjoy that 2017 type of love, the kind-of-dating-kind-of-not-kind-of-having-sex-kind-of-don’t-have-feelings-but-“we’re just talking”-&-the person who cares less-wins.aka Modern-f*cking-dating, baby.