2017, you f*cking pain - already
Well the last month has been delightful, right? I don't think I have come across a single soul who has had anything good to say about the year so far. In turn, I thought I would summarise a few thing's i've learnt this year, already. If someone could please send me a therapist after reading this, that would be appreciated.
1: Friends come & go
Just because you were close with someone 5 years ago, doesn't mean you're going to be close to them today and that is OK. Relationships change, people change, priorities change, work becomes more important than mid-week dinners - it happens. Invest in the ones who set your soul alight & who support & love you, even when you're not very loveable. It is often that people come into your life at certain times to help you get from A to B, and to teach you valuable lessons, then they somehow fade away. That's the magic of life and relationships, they're always evolving.
2: Fast VS. Slow
I admit to going 100 miles an hour, all day, every single damn day. My beautiful mum, sister and my career mentor talk about this all of the time, and try to help me slow down. This is true for so many of us "career driven" 24 year olds who are always trying to jam pack one more thing into our already f*cking crowded day. It's more common than I thought. When you start normalising a 70 hour working week - your body will force you to slow down - enter bedridden illness striking on the busiest week of your life.
I'm starting to slow down and enjoy the moment, instead of always looking for the next milestone to hit. It's hard, I am not successfully slowing down just yet, maybe that's a plan for later in 2017.
Every successful relationship starts with YOU. You cannot rely on someone else to make you happy. Finding a great partner is just the icing on the cake - but YOU are responsible for the cake. Nothing infuriates me more than people becoming worried about "being single" - get your sh*t together, it's truly bloody blissful. Not having to share your ice cream is a good motive, oh and so is going out & coming home at 4am on a week night and the only person you end up being judged by is your bloody reflection in the mirror.
Energy is very f*cking real. The more connected you are with yourself, is the more you put an emphasis on the energy other people bring into your life. We've all felt it at one time or another, there's that person who we always feel good around, and then there are the ones who just simply drain the life out of you from one interaction. The older I get, the more I base my friendships around energy. It's the smartest thing I have ever done, try it.
5: You're a combination of five of the people you spend the most amount of time with
So choose wisely. If you really want to change your life and the direction it is going, you have to change the people you hang around with. Spend time with the go-getters, the positive people, the ones who are going after big dreams (that might not always align with yours). Don't waste your time on people who are just f*cking around or making excuses for the way their lives have turned out.
6: Say No
You don't have time to service the needs of everybody around you - and sometimes it is OK to say No. This year I have really made a point of "taking time to myself" and I feel really f*cking bad about it. This I am sure comes with maturity blah blah. You can't be everything to everyone, say no when you want to.
7: Solitude VS. loneliness
Last year was my first year "alone". There is a huge difference between being lonely and being in complete solitude. My favourite saying is by Wayne Dyer; we can never be lonely if we like the person we're alone with (ourselves). If you like yourself, you'll ultimately be content with having some quiet time, away from all of the noise that life brings. Allow yourself to get in touch with your inner self, to quieten your mind, to meditate - once you do this, that constant need to be around other people to no longer feel lonely will disappear. It's f*cking great to be as happy "alone" as you are surrounded by other people.
8: Mental health is AS important as physical health
Mental health is a f*cking big issue and is rarely spoken about without judgement. In the last 12 months I have lost two of my beautiful friends to suicide, and I tell you what - it's going to take a lifetime to heal. Immediately you are filled with instant regret, the "maybe I could have done something differently, or been more present/available" hits you like a tonne of bricks. I don't think I can dive into this topic right now - in depth - way too fresh HOWEVER I will in the weeks to come. My only word of advice is ask your friends how they really are. Forget the superficial shit, delve deep. You may save a life.
Just f*cking do it. You'll be a better person because of it. I feel happiest when I am gaining new experiences and insights, and challenging my boundaries. Travel is the perfect catalyst for happiness. In my opinion, travel is the BEST school there is - I've learned so much about the world and most importantly, about myself. Every time I come home I have a different perspective, and it humbles me to the core.
I couldn't think of a tenth, because well it's only been one (1) f*cking month into 2017. I've managed to survive 30 days so far, hi-f*cking-five.